Who says that India lacks the appeal to draw international tourists? Among several other things, there's 'pyara' Laloo. Yes, I'm talking about the pseudo-Chief Minister of The Kingdom of Bihar.

Let's consider a time in the future (hopefully not too distant) when the glorious glimpses of the life (I mean 'jeevan-gatha') of late-Laloo have been added to the annals of history in golden (sunahrey) words. The clever Tourism Minster then, has done this on purpose.

In memory of the late-minister, a huge statue of Laloo, some 100-odd feet high, carved out in pure white marble and put right in the centre of the erstwhile capital city of Patna, is erected. True to his image, live cattle with fodder have been let loose around the enclosed perimeter of this effigy. Also, special (white) dhoti-kurta clad guards wearing 'neta-type' white topi (caps) and carrying AK-47s are present to "protect" the statue and/or the cattle with their fodder and/or the visiting international tourists.

Joining hands with the Tourism Minister, the then Railway Minister decides to add a special train, of the order of Palace on Wheels, to bring tourists right to this spot without any hassles from the 5-star hotels of Patna. To add to their experience, tea/coffee/lassi/vodka all are served in special 'kulhads' (earthen pots) on this train.

The vibrancy of the spot is enhanced several times by the non-stop audio, of course played at high decibels, reminiscing the taped speeches and journalistic responses or 'bakbak by burhbak', both edited and the non-edited ones, of the internationally acclaimed minister.

In no time does the place become so popular that people from far away get attracted to it. Among several others, there is the Sultan of Brunei and a not-so-popular peasant from Cuba. Both however, are required to pay the same extra-fees or 'ghoos' to enter the compounds of this landmark.

Upon entry, both are freely-allowed to tan in the bright sunlight within the compounds of the statue; wearing as many clothes as they want, if at all! and, as expected, the foreigners do not mind being in 'such-a-state' amidst the ogling eyes of the local people. Of course, touring females are also allowed inside!

The residents of Patna are very happy to find their luck personified i.e. to see and meet 'firangi' chaps of all shape, size, colour, sex, and what not! Not-to-forget-to-mention, the visitors are gracefully offered the local favourite drink 'chanchh' for free!

The administrators of The Kingdom of Bihar are finally happy to find that they can, after all, accomplish something in the not-so-common-and-cared-for category of public-service or 'jan seva'.

Also as anticipated, the Reserve Bank of India at the national level, gleefully pounds (with both hands) on the variety of foreign currency pouring in. Its coffers start filling up like anything.

However, not everyone gets to enjoy the goodies out of this. My heart goes out to the poor big black crows who were routed out of the place by the Ministry to save any droppings of embarrassment (on the statue).

How many countries in the entire world do you think can boast of such a renowned figure?

May God Bless India. And of course, The Kingdom of Bihar, for that matter.



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