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Lagaan deserved to lose
By Neena Richards
Monday, March 25 2002 12:00 Hrs (IST)

Let's face it. If you ever thought good films won Oscars, you would have learnt your lessons today. In retrospect, Indians the world over should probably thank God that Lagaan didn't win as the world watched yet another edition of 'Global Insanity Live' a.k.a the Oscars.

This is not the first time I have watched the Oscars and this is not the first time I felt the way I feel. Let me state at the very outset that I wasn't there, wasn't sponsored by any corporation, and I am not scared to say what perhaps just about everyone thinks.

Sour Grapes and
Foolish Indians
Each year the lunacy at the Oscars improves, the snobbishness gets better and one whole industry looks oblivious and detached from the realities of mankind. It's an annual occasion to show off one's style and plastic surgery to the world. Wealth, Politics and Power on public display.

Sample this from this year's Oscar. You switch on your TV to see a lady draped in red with a miniature model of maybe a 'Khaitan' fan on her right wrist! The hosts change often but the outright dumb statements remain. 'You look so gorgeous' said the hostess when I thought 'Oh God, this person forgot to dress' . 'That is such a lovely attire, it fits you so well' to me was the most Nobel description ever for a simple red bra.

The best part this year were the musicians and since they were sensible they were fittingly asked to sit below the dais, lest someone spot them. Cut to Tom Cruise as he makes the opening speech or was it a justification – unwarranted. The world fully understands, that even if a September 11 happens many a times over, it makes no difference to a group of people so committed to madness and gathered at LA.

What is testimony to how dumb these people are is the fact that they can't memorise three lines of an acceptance speech even when the world is watching you, and well, even if they have to read it can it not be scribbled on something better than a crumpled tissue paper or is that fashion as well!

It amazes me how the eyes go moist almost unanimously for many of those at the venue, the artificial handshake to the superficial applause to how a standing ovation is more of 'goat mentality' rather than spontaneity. Such demonstrative and 'for the camera' behaviour is shameful.

All that everyone at the Kodak theatre, seemed to be bothered about was what their market value would be at the end of another Oscar evening. It is a platform that could transform fortunes and bank balances, it is a platform that could catapult you to the super league. And they know it only too well.

So, if you ever thought the Oscars are awards for great films you are wrong (Team Lagaan hope you are listening?). It is recognition of great lobbying, money power and media influence. My nominees therefore would be 'Hype', 'Lustrous presentation', 'Strategic packaging' and 'Admirable Brokering ' and the Oscar goes to all of them, the true winners amidst all the madness.

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